Unicycle Comebacks and Jokes

If you’ve ever ridden a unicycle in a public place, you’ve probably had to face a range of jokes and questions about the fact that you only have one wheel. I’m here with a nice list of comebacks for you.

Where’s your other wheel?/You’re missing a wheel!

There was a half-off sale at the bike shop.

My dad bought a bike for me and my brother to share. We couldn’t decide who got to use it today.

(Look behind) It’ll be along in a minute.

(Turn around, surprised) Whoa! It was there a minute ago!

I lost it in the divorce.

I decided I didn’t need the training wheels anymore.

Think this is bad? Should’ve seen me before I got this wheel.

Where’s the challenge in that?

What?! I’ve only got one wheel?! (pretend to lose balance)

Real men/women only need one wheel.

(To cyclists) No, you’ve got one extra!

How do you ride that thing?

I ate a well-balanced breakfast this morning.

Like this! (keep riding)

Is that hard?

Only after I’ve sat on it for an hour.

IMPORTANT: Don’t be an a**hole. All these jokes are meant to be said light-heartedly — replying to “Someone stole half your bike!” with “Someone stole half your joke!” is rude, arrogant, and give unicyclists a bad name. BE NICE and HAVE FUN. 🙂

If you have any more, leave them in the comments!

Learn to Ride (Part 8): Skill Review Part 2

So you passed the first skill review and you’re ready for the next? I hope you’re feeling confident, because it starts to get harder here.

Free Mount

This one’s not to hard. Simply get on your unicycle with no assistance from walls or poles or people and ride for 10-15 meters. Don’t expect to be able to free mount every single time. Even after five years of riding, I occasionally mess it up. Once you can do this at least three times in a row, move on to the next task. If you don’t even know what free mounting is, head back a few parts.

Zig to the Zag

Hopefully you still have chalk from the first part of the test, because you’ll be using it here. In an open space, draw a zig zag line. Be reasonable with how sharp and frequent the turns are — each “zig” should be about 1m, if that makes sense. Then ride along it with your unicycle, keeping on the line as best you can.

Cones of Dunshire

You can only really do this if you have access to cones/witches hats. If you don’t never mind. This one’s mostly for fun anyway. Scatter your cones in an area and ride through them, without touching any. If it’s too easy, make the cones closer together and harder to navigate. Also, don’t stick to the same route each time. Use your pivot turning skills to manoeuvre through.

Uni Slalom

With the cones (if you have them) set up a slalom course, such that you have to ride through several pairs. Make it as tricky as you want by varying the distance between each pair and the sharpness of each turn requires. You can also time yourself a deduct points for knocked over cones. It can be pretty fun to try and beat your best scores.

Well, I think that’s it. Hopefully you all passed!

If you have any more tasks that you think helped you master the basics of unicycling, let me know in the comments. 🙂